Would we survive in a zombie apocalypse? - EPISODE 5

Tom & Kayla tell you why they'd be great additions to your zombie apocalypse team! They'll share the skills, strengths, and survival instincts they think would help them stay alive when the zombies take over. From finding food and staying safe to making tough decisions under pressure...

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:04

Hell we were gonna go, hell yeah, back it at it, back it at it. Is you a minute?

SPEAKER_05 0:14

Oh, I'm so glad you asked. What's up? What is that's the question that I'm asking?

SPEAKER_00 0:20

What is up?

SPEAKER_05 0:21

Yeah, how you been? It's been a minute.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

It has been a little minute. Um dislocated, shoulder. Of course, of course. Yeah, yeah, done did it again.

SPEAKER_05 0:29

Um, do you want to share how that occurred?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

There are people at work starting a rumour that it was because of me tanning my back. It was. Oh. But it's a rumour that I need to clear up because yes, I was tanning my back. Uh, I then sat down, painted my nails, stood up. We believe that my rotator cuff, I've got a couple of issues with me rotator. Yep. Um, that I think the moving and stretching stretching to kind of get to the crevices of my back caused the rotator cuff to have a bit of a moment. Uh, and then my shoulder, as I was throwing my phone on the bed after tanning, then decided to disband from my body and left my arm inside of my like rib cage.

SPEAKER_05 1:07

Can I ask, is it the arm that you're currently like gesticulating wildly with?

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Uh no. It's it's it's the one we're holding the mic with. If you are watching on YouTube, you'll see. Uh yeah, it's it's unfortunately the tattooed arm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:19

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Which is which is just a shame.

SPEAKER_05 1:21

Are you left-handed?

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Yes, thank the lord.

SPEAKER_05 1:24

Wait, that's but so that means wait, no, that's your right hand. Oh my gosh. Sorry, I was looking at you and I'm like, it has to be flipped, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Yeah, got it. Yeah, got it, got it.

SPEAKER_05 1:35

Can I tell you how I used to remember left and right? Because like when you're a kid, you need a system, right? Of course. Most people go like, uh, that's L, that's left. I remember, like, truly in prep, a kid who was in my class came up behind me and he like, like, like sort of like ghost style, like went around me and he's like, that one yeah, he's like, that one's your left, that one's your right. And then for years, like that's how I'd remember. I'd flash back to that memory, like slop dog millionaire style, and I'm like left.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

That's the raven, but backwards.

SPEAKER_05 2:04

I would be like, I remember being like, I can't learn how to drive because if someone's like, you need to turn left right now, I'd have to be like, I need to remember this one kid in prep. Okay, I'm there. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Now I'm smart. Now I just remember, except for that one instance.

SPEAKER_01 2:19

Except for this one instance.

SPEAKER_05 2:20

Yeah, so just to get shoulder but you um uh what's been going on with me? I got a haircut done by my wife. It looks really good. I like it, yeah, because I my wife got like hairdressing scissors, like proper ones that make like the cool ASMR sound.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Uh pleasuring. Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 2:39

And so she did that to like cut her fringe, not in a crashing out way, but more in like a I now have the tools to do this properly way. And then I was crashing out over like unrelated circumstances, and I was like, let's do it, let's cut my hair. And so she cut my hair, and I think it did well. I fully, every time I've gotten my hair cut, they like wash your hair beforehand, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:59

Oh, the the smooth massage with the fingers.

SPEAKER_05 3:01

Lovely, it's the best part. I used to go to this one hairdresser, like when I was a kid, my mum would take me where they went into like a place where it was like fully dark and like had a sliding door and had like um like rippling like water and stuff. You read a spa. Yeah, basically. Yeah, yeah, you know what? Yes. It was a spa. But um, no, then my wife was fully like, no, you cut curly hair dry. I was like, I don't know that you do, but we did it.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

So I feel like if I curled my hair like big curls, we would look the same.

SPEAKER_05 3:29

You should get a perm.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Perm on the pod?

SPEAKER_05 3:32

That'd be fine. Perm on the pod. Yeah, perm on the pod. I all I know about a perm is that it's so annoying. I like to do and like keep up.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

We hit 20 episodes and 5,000 listens on an episode.

SPEAKER_05 3:43

If you get a perm, I straighten my hair. Yeah, perfect. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Can we help for Halloween? Can we just like you do me? Don't say that.

SPEAKER_05 3:51

When I straighten my hair, I look like the mum from the Brady Bunch. Like foreign send or something, like curls.

SPEAKER_03 3:56

It's so nuke. It fully is.

SPEAKER_05 3:59

It's not good.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

My segue into today's topic. It would be tough to do your hair if you didn't have electricity whilst you were in a zombie apocalypse. It would happen to my segue.

SPEAKER_05 4:10

That's yep, we got that. We got that. I think, okay, so today we are talking about zombie apocalypses. I'm glad you brought this up hygiene. I think your hygiene would be like the first thing to go, obviously. And thus I don't think I'd want to be around. I need to be clean. I'm so sorry. I can't smell bad for like more than a day before I'm like, I'm thinking ways out of here.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

I've been watching a lot of The Walking Dead, and it it baffles me sometimes that I'm like, how'd you get your skin that good? I'm wondering What are you doing with your skin? What does your breast smell like? You know, all this stuff. How have you done your hair perfect? Cinema, baby.

SPEAKER_05 4:44

I gotta be real, those scenes where they're like, it's like two of them like cuddling, and it's like implied that they've just had sex. I'm like, you guys need to move to a different room. Because I know it smells crazy right now. You guys, like seriously? Like it's a closed room. I know it's bad.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

I know it's bad.

SPEAKER_05 4:59

I know it's really bad. Dude, The Walking Dead. I guess like that's The Walking Dead is probably a blueprint for like how a lot of people think about like how they would or what they would do in a zombie apocalypse. So like has that inspired some of your thinking of what you would do?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

It's ground research.

unknown 5:14

Sure.

SPEAKER_05 5:14

For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. You're taking notes.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

I'll take I'm taking notes, especially with a lot of the uh, I guess agriculture building and like uh how they build uh like contraptions and things like that.

SPEAKER_05 5:25

So much of that show and the comic. I read the comic and then I stopped at a certain point. I and then like also the same thing with the show. I watched it, then I'm like, I'm gonna stop. Um but so much of that show is dedicated to farming, and I do respect that. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

There is, I think, uh, like that what the show has done is to go, it's not going to be like this magical kind of world, but everyone will persevere and will start to do things to bring the world back to life. So yeah, grand research. Have have kind of learned a lot from that show.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:54

Uh I've learned that I do want a samurai sword in the zombie apocalypse because Yeah, I feel like that show ruined a generation of people where they're like, oh, a katana, I need a katana mounted on my wall. It's like, no, you really don't actually.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Yeah, I feel like that would be my my weapon of of choice. But what also has kind of brought me to talking about this is because one of my favourite conversations that uh my good friend Lucas actually started around the table of friends was who would you kill off in a zombie apocalypse around this table? And it really got me wondering because I loved that everyone went around and said their three things about like why exactly they would be a good person to like why I'm valid. Yeah, why are valid? And it was actually quite healthy because you know, like no one really got upset knowing like whether they were gonna be killed off or whatever. It was just like, no, I'll bow out. I get that.

SPEAKER_05 6:42

So these were all people from your work in like radio, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Oh, these were people from uh my Horsham friends from back home.

SPEAKER_05 6:48

Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:50

All very close and tight-knit, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:51

But there was like a diverse group of like different uh jobs and different skills. Yeah, different jobs.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Okay, different skills, different uh well, of course, personalities, uh what you can bring to it. Uh, you know, my my housemate being uh a nurse, like of course, you know. Okay, well that's an instant you're in around, yeah, okay, win. Uh I was very happy to have been praised for my cooking abilities. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:12

Uh okay. Like I'm gonna be real with you, like, how often are you gonna be cooking in a zombie apocalypse? Like, you got gas, you got oils, you got salts, you got proteins.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

Yeah, and like cat the whole catching, the whole idea of catching the fish and whatever. I've watched a lot of Daryl catching the fish of Walking Dead. I think I got this.

SPEAKER_05 7:28

God, that guy. He needs a wash more than anyone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

He is the one person that I'm like, you are actually, I think, the right depicted person for what you're it would actually look like.

SPEAKER_05 7:38

Oh, can you imagine also like the smell of him combined with just having eaten fish?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Terrible.

SPEAKER_05 7:43

Terrible. I don't want to be there.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

But you know what? Give me my whole pass. I like Darryl. I really like Daryl.

SPEAKER_05 7:49

See, the thing is, I okay, so in discussing this, I remembered at school we did a similar exercise where it was, and this is gonna sound really problematic, because it is. We're in the white Australia policy, how do you justify getting into Australia? Like, what can you bring to the country? And then we all had to this was like year nine. And we all had to, and we all had to look at each other and be like, who's not getting in? Yeah, yeah, I've just remembered that that's really fucked up. Whoa! Yeah, I remember arguing as well, being like, Yeah guys, like I'm Irish, so like come on. And I was like, actually looking back, that was probably really, really, really bad for the other students in the room.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Yeah. Yeah. Well, just a lighthearted uh table conversation. Yeah. It can progress to worse. But it didn't.

SPEAKER_05 8:35

Your one sounds more progressive, then. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

It did get the mind going because if it did happen, let's say tomorrow, uh, what would you actually do? What would what would what would you, I guess, your first initial reaction be? Uh, your first feelings, but then also like, what would you bring to the table if you were gonna stick around?

SPEAKER_05 8:52

The first reactions and feelings was ah oh no, damn, darn it, adjust as things were getting good. Um, okay, so first reactions, I would be like, obviously, like not happy. Like, I would probably like if I'm being real, like, I'm looking for a way out. But if we're gonna be continuing the hypothetical in a way that's like not dark, then I would be like, okay, I need to find currently where I am. I'm I have high ground because I'm in an apartment building on the top, which isn't a brag because it's not a big apartment building. It's lovely though. It's lovely. I have only one point of exit. Is that good or is that bad? Because I can limit things coming up, but then if I need to get down and it's compromised, what do I do? Right? Then I'm thinking, how much fresh water will I be able to get? Right? So I'll probably start filling up the bathtub so I have like access to some water, but I'm like, how long? Right? And the closest water source is the yucky yucky yarra. It's all brown. I don't want to drink that. I'm so sorry. So I'm probably thinking I might need to go somewhere else. I don't necessarily know where, and that's a problem.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

What I like about your apartment as well is that there are other places and apartments, so you could actually raid, but also like work with some of your neighbors. Did you hear that? Did you hear that?

SPEAKER_05 10:11

You guys are going. I'm I'm making like carpoons, I'm making spears. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

What is that? What is that? Is it a Japanese movie where um the zombie apocalypse happens and they are there's like uh a lady opposite uh one apartment block and then a fella on another, and they're trying to communicate? Oh yeah, I don't know that. It's one of those movies that you know you watch through like TikTok or like Instagram Reels.

SPEAKER_04 10:34

Yeah, it went platinum on YouTube, yeah, YouTube shorts. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

But I watched the whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 10:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

Stop scrolling and watch watch this. And I was like, thank you for the full movie.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Stop scrolling. Stop scrolling.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

We need to watch this. Another ground research.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Um so yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:49

Have you heard of this great movie called There's two of them, both of the same name and the same premise, because it was remade. I I don't know why I made that more complicated than it was. A remade movie. Yes, called Dawn of the Dead.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:59

Okay, so in that one, it's what if there's a zombie apocalypse and you go to a shopping centre or a mall in the movie. And there's one in this there was one in the 70s done by George Romero, who did like Night of the Living Dead, he did Day of the Dead, Dawn of the Dead. He was like, that was his like He was the dead. He did a lot of that, he did a lot of other things as well. He did like some uh he did a great vampire movie. But anyway, I'm getting off the point. In Dawn of the Dead, they go to a shopping center, and it's like that's a good idea, you'd think, because you have access to food, you have access to like safe spots, like because they go into like where the security cameras are, and then you can really like shutter off all of these different stores and you can expand where is safe and where isn't, you can clear it out. And a lot of the movie is about logistics of that, and I really do enjoy that aspect. However, I wouldn't necessarily do that because I think everyone else is gonna have that idea.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Yes, yeah. That's why you see, I think, in a lot of zombie apocalypse movies, often the shopping center has been raided or the clothing store has been rated. In this, I I remember the Japanese movie I watched through TikTok. It was about the logistics of all of that as well, like having to like get sources and and things being in a confined, smaller space. But then even being in a bigger space, you can also have those issues as well. So it was like interesting.

SPEAKER_05 12:10

So many zombie movies are about like, okay, we've gotten safe, and like we're gonna show you the logistics of that. And then once we're there, it's like, okay, now we're gonna start being dicks to each other and we're gonna break down so fast and we're gonna kill each other. And I'm like, okay, like cool, I get that it's like making a point. Sometimes I would maybe just want to see a zombie movie where it's just one guy, or like just someone by themselves, or like two people who are actually like really tight and cool with each other, and they're just doing the logistics part, and they're like, Okay, now we're gonna.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Sean of the dead Sean. Sean of the Dead does the same thing though. Isn't that two people just like being really cool?

SPEAKER_05 12:43

No, but then they go to the pub and it breaks down like immediately because the mum gets like zombified and then like, we need to kill her.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

That was a ripper movie. I love that.

SPEAKER_05 12:53

Yeah, that's actually that might be the movie I've seen the most in my life. Because I went through a phase when I was like 13 where I'm like, I'm just gonna watch this all the time. And I watched it with like commentary on, and like I think they had like three different commentaries on the Bou-Ray that I watched. Yeah, it was like one of the only movies I ever did that for.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

My friend James has said to me that he can't watch that movie because it feels too real.

SPEAKER_05 13:12

It does get real.

SPEAKER_00 13:13

It feels too real to what would happen. That like, especially in that scene the next day when he's like walking doing his tasks, but it's like the zombie apocalypse isn't happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, That's just that's just too too close to something actually happening.

SPEAKER_05 13:25

It's like it's it's really fun, and then honestly, when it breaks down, it does get really real and it gets really sad. I've got the score on vinyl, and like some of the later tracks in it are genuinely like emotional, and like they like pull at your heartstrings, they're like nice, like really like it it like really takes a turn and they do it really well. Um, but I can understand not wanting to watch that because it gets to real.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

It can get too real, and it it could happen, as we've said, like the uh with well, what's been kind of going on in the world in terms of like COVID maybe potentially being like the closest thing we may have had to to it happening and everything shutting down.

SPEAKER_05 13:59

I'm like, what is the closest thing we've actually had to zombies? That's like a hard question.

SPEAKER_00 14:03

I guess I guess like war, I don't know. Yeah, but I think maybe COVID potentially put the fear into people, but then also um I've once again surfing the internet, seeing like you know, types of drugs hit the streets that can get you into that type of uh way as well. So it's like I think that that's the only touch point, and that's why I find like apocalypse kind of like movies and TV shows like so interesting to be to be ready for it, but also like knowing that there's like different methods and mediums being done around like potentially building up to it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 14:34

You've made an interesting point here because so often zombie movies are trying to be like a like an analogue for something else that's like a legitimate social fear that people have. So it's like I think that Dawn of the Dead movie in the 70s was about like consumerism broadly, and it's about like people becoming zombies, man, they're just going to the to the mall and just walking around, like that sort of thing. I've actually you raised an interesting point about the like drug-affected people. That could be a trend that you might see in zombie movies to come. People might start to use that as an analogue if they haven't already. I'm interested. That's that's actually that could be something that crops up.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Maybe we are starting the ideas.

SPEAKER_05 15:10

Um I don't know if it's the wokest idea, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

But also, if you need let us know. Email us. Yeah, sure, why not? We can we can do some more yipp-yapping about that.

SPEAKER_05 15:19

What like other zombie movies or like things have you consumed that have like informed what you would do in a zombie apocalypse? Walking dead.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Yeah, Walking Dead's been one of them. I do love my my yeah, really deep zombie running away kind of uh, I guess, movies, like that train one. There was another one.

SPEAKER_05 15:37

Oh, Train of Bissan?

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Yes, that one's unreal. That was really, really good.

SPEAKER_05 15:42

They made a sequel to that, I think. Yeah, yeah. Um that one's great. Uh Shawn of the Dead's great. Have you ever heard of Return of the Living Dead? No. Okay. That one fucks me up. That one's scary to me. Because that one, the name, like it has nothing to do with the other ones at all. It sounds like it has to do with Night of the Living Dead, but it's not. It's it's a rights thing. Anyway, in that one, it's like zombies come to life. If you cut off like their hand, the hand will start moving independently. And then if you cut off a finger, the finger, like you can't. Yes, if you hit them in the brain, that doesn't kill them. If you cut off the head, that doesn't kill them. Yeah, you cut off the head, the body's gonna keep moving, the head will be moving individually.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Oh no, I hate that. Because it gets worse. I'm safe knowing that if I kill get in the head, like more than dead. Yeah. Fantastic. Oh, the idea that it could keep going. No, it gets worse.

SPEAKER_05 16:26

It gets worse. So then they like like, oh, we need to cremate the bodies. And so they do, and then the smoke gets up into the air, and this part's a bit like like it's all fantastical, but this part's a little bit like overreach. It then turns into rain, and then it rains down on a cemetery, and then all of the like bodies get up. Also, the zombies in this one can talk, and that's where the well, you you know when people pretend to be zombies, they say like brains, that's where it comes from because they eat brains, and they're like an ambulance guy, like gets on like zombies, he's like, You need to send more like ambulance people, and so they come and then they like are just eating their brains. It's really scary.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Wow, so it's like well, the it is the The Returning of the Living Dead.

SPEAKER_05 17:06

Yeah, yeah, it's a great movie. I strongly recommend it.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Yeah, I think when it becomes too humanized, is where I do go, Yeah, I'm out.

SPEAKER_05 17:14

The thing is, this movie's actually would you believe this movie's like a comedy? Yeah, it's like it's not really played seriously.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Okay, I mean if it if it was a little bit more put towards like this, like real kind of like.

SPEAKER_05 17:26

No, this one's silly. It's like got punks running around being like, whoa, what's going on? Like, it's great.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

Yeah, right. All right, you know what? Less afraid. Less afraid. Less afraid.

SPEAKER_05 17:34

There's one that's like fully just like it's a dripping like guy, like made out of like tar called tar man, and he like bites into a dude's head like an apple. It's like crazy.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

I want to watch it.

SPEAKER_05 17:43

I again really recommend it. Yeah, it's nudity.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Zombie nudity.

SPEAKER_05 17:50

No, no, not zombies. Before the zombies. Okay, you know what? Everything you need to do.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Unrelated to the zombies. Yeah. You know what? Everything you needed more. Zombies, nudes.

SPEAKER_02 18:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

So when it comes to, I guess, being, you know, how we navigate towards it, what would be your, I guess, things that you would bring to the table if you were, if you were presented the walls of protection.

SPEAKER_05 18:14

Yeah. And they're like, what do you what do you have? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

What have you got from?

SPEAKER_05 18:18

What do you bring? Well, I would lie. I would be like, I'm a doctor.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

I'm just like what the guy in the walkie dead did, and he's still alive. So what was that? Was that Eugene?

SPEAKER_05 18:27

Eugene. Uh, yeah, because in the comics, he yeah, he liar. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

He can get far.

SPEAKER_05 18:32

Yeah, and he got he has cool hair. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

He does have cool hair.

SPEAKER_05 18:35

Um, no, I wouldn't lie. Well, I would lie, but I would, in all honesty, I could be like, I'm a teacher. You probably need that.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

Yeah, building more of the civilized way again. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05 18:44

I'm like, listen, I can make a case for that. Like, I can make a case for teacher. I can't make a case for a lot of the people that I know. I can't make the case for my wife. My wife has an email job. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Well, yeah, I think that the teaching aspect of it, especially if they are behind the walls, building back civilization.

SPEAKER_05 19:04

We have some kids back here. I'm like, I know how to I I can handle kids.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

I can handle children. Yep. Yeah. Wonderful. Yeah, yeah. Wonderful.

SPEAKER_05 19:10

This is a dark, but I'm like, gonna be like, oh, what are those kids? They don't have anyone like looking after them anymore. I got I could you'll give me a class. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

You're in.

SPEAKER_05 19:17

Yeah, you're in. You're in?

SPEAKER_01 19:20

You are in. You're in town. You're in town.

SPEAKER_05 19:24

You're in town.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

You're in great. Great show.

SPEAKER_05 19:28

Wait, I'm trying to great show. Yeah. I what would you bring? Well. I think you're getting shot. I'm sorry. I don't think they're letting you in.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

I'd bring some singing, dancing, and acting. I'd do you're in town. Turn around! Start walking. My occupation? Imagine if I went, I'm a professional yapper.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

I don't think they're wasting a board on you even. They're throwing glass shards at you till you leave.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Shut up.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

Shut up.

SPEAKER_00 19:56

So I remember this conversation, like talking with my friends about it, going, I am not going in for the occupation. I'm going in for the skills that I have in terms of cooking and my hobbies and my natural interests and my willingness to adapt, learn, and lead.

unknown 20:12

I'm going in.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

I'm going in.

SPEAKER_05 20:15

You're really treating this like a job interview, but I guarantee this disaffected, like, soldier, malicious soldier at the gate is not hearing you.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

But I'm trying to use my skills in yapping to get me there.

SPEAKER_05 20:25

Listen, they're seeing your mouth move, but they're just hearing white noise and they're staring like 30 meters behind you. Like they're waiting to see that you're done, gonna be like, okay, you're done. Okay, so here's why you're not coming in.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

But I think I think that if I was already in, I got accepted. I think that it would be, yeah, I'm I'm always happy to help out. You know what you got for me.

SPEAKER_04 20:46

I really fucking hope so.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

But I I've always said that I think my like basic culinary skills would really get me there. Because if you're trying to feed a whole lot of people, I feel like I've got your help in terms of like trying to use it.

SPEAKER_05 20:57

I'd be like, yeah. I'd be like, listen, we've got a library, we have cookbooks, we don't even have about that much oil, guys.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

Like, I'm sorry you're not making it in. We're eating raw like squirrels over here.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

I know I would prep them well.

SPEAKER_04 21:14

We can't prep them. We're eating ladybugs.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

I feel like I feel like that's probably my basic skills that I could I could get to, but also I I can help out with your strategies. I feel like if you're thinking about things, the only thing that I wouldn't be good at is probably on the field. I could I could help you like figure it out in terms of like uh where we're gonna go, map-wise, not too bad at maps, but as soon as it hits the the battlefront, I'm out. My shoulder will pop out or something.

SPEAKER_05 21:41

You can't be bringing that to the interview.

SPEAKER_04 21:43

You're not making it in. You need to say, I'm gonna be on the battlefield. They don't want they don't want someone being like, listen, I'm actually a conscientious objector.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Okay, give me uh no, because then maybe now watching The Walking Dead, I am a bit like, yeah, give me a gun. Yeah. But I think when it gets too close. to like when I see those massive herds, I probably would go, nah, I'm your girl that's like in the forest killing a few. I I'm like, I'm like helping, I'm like helping pan the field. I'm not like Okay. Because I think something silly would happen where I would dislocate my shoulder and then I'd be out like, are you on the battlefield? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_05 22:16

Everything you're saying is like I'm turning you around.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Okay. Teacher, what else?

SPEAKER_05 22:21

Here's what I'm doing. I'm doing teacher. I'm also doing I can throw Moltov cocktails at hordes. I can be up. I can be up and I give me binoculars. I can be a scout and I would lie and say that I would be on the battlefield but I wouldn't go on the battlefield. You're right, I wouldn't go on the battlefield but I would lie about that pass. You're pretty like alright it's your turn to go on the battlefield back oh my leg.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Oh I woke up on the wrong side of the bed they would go screw this guy get him out of this unhelpful game.

SPEAKER_05 22:54

Oh I would see you later have a class oh I have a class at nine you know what we're making civilization but we're not making bussies I don't honestly I don't think I'm even making it to whatever this like sanctuary we're describing is I'm saying and I'm dying where I am probably I would really try and fight I would really try and like at least give it a red hot go. Here's the thing I the most I would do is I would venture out to a supermarket. That's it. Yeah I would be like listen I'm gonna go up the road I've I have a baseball bat I guarantee it's gonna break the first time I use it because it's not it wasn't expensive.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

It was pretty cheap and it's made of metal but I'll go up I'll bash in a window I'll be like did that draw any infected and then the binders and then I'll die yeah oh yeah we've got to come up with a name for them because we're gonna call them zombies zombies biders what are they called dead we got some stragglers oh wait stragglers isn't bad stragglers are stupid way because they're also they're straggling on to life they should be dead but they're like oh they're just hanging clingers Tage five clingers wait yeah they cling on we can call them cling ons we can call them clingons exactly exactly then we bring back to Star Trek I'm thinking about this while I'm getting like ripped to pieces I think that yeah if I did go I'd probably then now counter I guess saying to what I said that I wouldn't be on the field I would probably want to be doing something heroic trying to like fend off people or whatever. Like I don't want to go just because of natural causes.

SPEAKER_05 24:27

I am thinking I was just like oh I could throw Moltoff cocktails but I'm like that's such like a resource heavy thing.

SPEAKER_04 24:32

That's like a whole thing of alcohol we're not doing another lie another lie they're like learning they're learning a board in it like oh yeah Molotov That's crazy.

SPEAKER_05 24:44

Again I don't think I'm trying I will raid the apartments around me and I will like go up the road and then like honestly I'll try to wait it out. I don't know if that's a good strategy but it's like the best I got yeah realistically I probably would be if it happened tomorrow Horsham.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

So I don't yeah I'm surrounded Would it reach Hors Horsham? Actually true.

SPEAKER_05 25:06

I'd have a couple of days probably a couple of days it would reach but it yeah you get to put up some like defenses.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

Cool I'd text you it'd be like plants versus zombies I'd text you dead or nah dead or nah instead you're like a zombie nah I'm kidding I got the X's over my eyes I'm just joking every time you be a zombie like nah I'm kidding it's me I'm like nah we have fun and like you hear like banging at my door no we're just joking yeah I was probably go get that oh you know what I live near a bunnings should I raid the Bunnings yes that much hardware stores there's a bunnings like a road over that way perfect yeah this is gonna like people gonna dox me if where I live in Horsham it would be tougher to get to supermarket would be tougher to get to a Bunnings uh but I feel like the people around me being living in the country you know having like you know bigger cars and all like stuff and whatever I think that I think that I'd be safe with where I am but me and my housemate did say that we do have this massive window right at the front of our like first living room.

SPEAKER_05 26:19

And you're on the ground floor.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

We are yeah so yeah and we are on a street that a lot of people like go on walks and whatever so it would be a massive street for the Klingons to our house and potentially just like if we made a small noise for them to just like bash through the windows. So yeah we we we have discussed we have have you might have an emergency plan but we've got an emergency zombie plan in our first aid kit and the zombie apocalypse kit oh dude I was straight up looking for the first aid kit this morning I don't we don't have it anymore.

SPEAKER_05 26:48

I was like where is it? And I'm I'm like I don't think we have it anymore because I sliced off part of my thumb last night.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

Well well now we've got this discussion on the pod you need to get yourself first aid kit and an emergency zombie what if this is like ground like I become a zombie because I slice my thumb on a cocaine well when you text me tomorrow let me know imagine texting out yeah brain zone perfect brain zrain yeah how do you think the a zombie apocalypse would would end do you believe that there would be an end to I read a couple books about this which you believe I read this book it's a famous book World War World War Z.

SPEAKER_05 27:28

Yeah Z you know the do you know the filmmaker Mel Brooks? Yes yeah it's his son Max Brooks wrote that which is like crazy but that's like the structure of that book is like a lot of stories like told from the perspective of like a historian talking about like when there was a zombie apocalypse and it's like it jumps all over it's like here's what they did in South Africa here's what they did in the Himalayas like that sort of thing. True I thought about like yeah how like different countries would also work with this too listen it's not like the most accurate I'm gonna be real like like reading it you're sort of like oh you got like a basic grip on things I guess. But then I read another book called International Relations and Zombies which is written by like uh someone who has like degrees in like international relations and isn't just Mel Brooks's degree on zombies yeah yeah yeah he studied he studied epidemiology um and in that book zombies are basically just used as like an analog for like just any mass like event like similar to COVID it was published before COVID um and that one is also really interesting in terms of how it would end I feel like it would just peter out because like they do this in 28 days later where they're like we're just gonna wait it out because it's only on like Britain mainland Britain and so they're like we're just gonna wait it out because at a certain point you hit the max amount of people who could get infected. True. Let's just wait till they die of starvation. And so they do so they like wait like a couple of months and then they're like okay we're gonna go in and we're gonna sweep for anyone else but like it's massively reduced. So I feel like it would just be a bunch of people just like waiting and then like after you wait long enough you can just come out. It's not like a nuke. If a nuke went off you have to be like or like nukes went off everywhere. You're like I can't just come out after like a couple of months it's like this is my I'm this is my life this is my grandkids life we're living in a shelter but it's like with zombies you can like I'm just gonna wait a bit and then it's gonna be like a really smelly life where it's like there are so many corpses this sucks.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

But like when The Walking Dead took Rick and the rubbish lady in the helicopter that became one of my okay right I think that that would also happen where I believe there'd be some bigger forces that would work on a plan to potentially take people to like another island something that's like far away like with lots of like I guess sea around you know the bigger countries. Taking us to a point there and us kind of living off islands rather than our like bigger kind of like country lands. So I like the idea of it peting peting petering out but if it didn't peter yeah but if it didn't I feel like there would be some type of plan about living on the islands.

SPEAKER_05 30:01

Here's two things I'll say to that. So at the end of Dawn of the Dead they're like let's get on a boat let's get out of the mall and let's get on a boat and get out of here and then I think it ends badly for them and I've always like I haven't loved the idea of like taking to the sea like in the idea of a zombie bock up so I'm like that's a coward's way out and also I don't want to eat fish like I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 30:19

I love fish.

SPEAKER_05 30:20

Well good for you man get on the boat. Go on your Hawaiian vacation or whatever the fuck that's what I'm hoping for. Yeah but secondly in Day of the Dead the next George Mirror movie which is my favorite that one's all set in a salt mine and it's like it's like the US Army and some scientists and I it's kind of vague about like if it's like a couple of weeks after it started or like years but like it's just them in a salt mine. There's like one entranceway in and out that's heavily guarded they have a helicopter they have miles and miles of mine that's just like where they've just stored things. Because they used to use salt mines and they still do for like storage of things like film canisters and like things that like need like that certain humidity and so there's like caravans in there they live in and there's like a cafeteria but it's again it's one of those ones where it's like it's all about like it breaks down human style and anyway but um that one has always appealed to me as well of like that's kind of like a safe place for me where I'm like oh can you imagine being so safe ooh oh that'd be so good. Me on a rocky boat tummy hurts oh ooh I got the bubble guts me in a soul mine in a caravan listening to some Caribbean the score to that the score to that movie has so many steel drums and you're like why it's supposed to be peaceful I'm having a great time like I'm listening to it and it kind of sounds like a you know like uh old Simpsons when they would have like music where like it's an episode where they go to the beach and the music's like kind of different it kind of sounds like that and I'm like ooh it sounds great but like we're at assault mind at the zombie apocalypse and like people try to kill themselves. I don't know if this is the vibe. It is still my favorite one though.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Oh it's crazy how these uh these situations you can get so invested into panicking about it you can get so invested into learning about it reading about it watching movies about it but inevitably I think once I s once again it's ground research to find out that if it did happen tomorrow there are those sources to get you to really think about it. But you probably wouldn't really know how you'd react until it it would happen. You can say all these things do all this research until it until until the cows come home.

SPEAKER_05 32:20

Until the cows come home until the shit it's the fan which we don't know when that is gonna happen I don't I need to find out I need to just find out where in your like fresh water sources I probably really far away from where I am we need to start getting some water like Horsham you'd probably be able to get some fresh water somewhere nearby.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Yeah for sure definitely the winter arrival well but that's not a problem you have cars I have cars I was like ooh you'd have to drive though like you didn't drive here well fuel as well honestly all if it did turn zombie apocalypse and that all you know that system of purchasing whatever and it was all about stealing now I think the fuel would you like siphon petrol from like other cars?

SPEAKER_05 32:59

Never had to how do you like how do you check to because like if you put the wrong petrol in right it like fucks up your car. Yes like what are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_00 33:07

Like this diesel like what are you gonna I would try both and then know which one how?

SPEAKER_05 33:12

That's not you'd be like oh they taste different don't know which is which fuck I would hope I would hope that early stages I could at least differentiate like what's coming out of what and then if it just becomes like a big job petrol just sitting on the side I'd just go do you know what I'd do I'd piss piss this is how I like if I if I wanted to like like if I was like I need to die like I can't live in this world anymore but I'm in like a settlement or I'm in like a like a group I would like steal a bunch of the gasoline and then I'd do like I'm gonna do like a fire breathing show and I'd be like stop and they tackle me and kill me but it'd be really funny I love the creative ways of going yeah yeah yeah I'd be like kids don't swallow it just like you've been ditching yeah I'm like I'm doing a presentation don't drop my That'd be great yeah that'd be great I'm still done on the battlefield I'd be like I go up to one kid before and I'm like I'm gonna change the trajectory of your life forever control for him oh you know what actually would probably happen is like I'd fuck up and just set myself off unclear what he was trying to do he's like catch watch this the worst we gather for a man we had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

He stole our gas uh he wasted some of it not all of it and in times like this it really didn't help you imagine like I tried to do it and I'm still holding the canister just exposed structural damage if they parade what the fuck happened it was like I was just eating a gruel that we have to eat what Taylor made this fantastic gruel for us prepped it so well he took out the storage like picking up like a smoldering shoe and like who even was this it was Tom who's Tom He's one of the teachers oh why do we let him in let him in yeah we should have and then I'd go around and start bitching.

SPEAKER_05 35:21

Yeah he was not like Caleb can you please go back to making some better food everyone's miserable I'm gonna make some better food for y'all Tom's dead we're making cake that guy was a pill that guy that guy was a drag also dead or nah yeah yeah they never found a body they never found a body yeah you just like hear like wind whistling and it's just me like I'm good at that wait wait that can be one of your things when you get to the door you can be like hey guys I can whistle like a bird listen let me in and they're like that actually is kind of cool what if you went up and you're like I can solve a Rubik's cube in six seconds I can't that's another lie yeah but it's like can you prove it? Do they have one on hand? No you have to let me in to find out like you can't do it I'm like yeah but I'm here put it up yeah but I'll be up honestly I think I would just try and thrive off personality I'm a personality hire let me in let me in I'm so funny no you try to be like a politician you try to be like no we need to have some form of rule oh that would be me too I would flip democracy if I'd come in with personality then stay my mum would you be a dictator nah nah you'd be chill I'd be chill no you wouldn't not no not in those circumstances I do believe though that I would kind of walk in all friendly and then if things start to piss me off probably would probably would you gotta walk in yeah I'd probably walk in a little you kind of give me like the governor one eye one eye did you know in the comic he cuts off Rick's hand like when he first meets him and then Rick only has one hand for the rest of the comic wow yeah didn't know that yeah it's fully like they cut fuck the governor because of he sucked oh that season was shit anyway he's way worse than the comic but apparently like he was ugly as well uh oh I kind of like that guy I don't love him not really a eye patch oh that's fair he was in he was in Dockey Who Dockey Oh he's in Dockie Who's in he's like one of the Christmas specials I think his name's David Morrison he's also in this um sorry he's in this one BBC miniseries called Blackpool which is actually pretty good and I recommend it's him and David Tennant and at one point they're like singing I think they sing Leaving oh no Viva Las Vegas like with their heads against each other's heads like walking in a circle like angry at each other it's crazy man that way to entertain yourself. Anyway no you know what I'd do I'd be one of those guys who like we're a troop who tell tales and I'd just recount movies yeah and I'd be like and then the kung fu panda says kadoosh and the great evil was vanquished and I'm like the like people in the audience would be like wait yeah that's how I remember it yeah you know what we need to go we need to get to the gates together and go we are performers and we can recite and also perform movies for you guys yeah yeah yeah we'd be like I'd be like I'm taking requests what movies and someone's like Ghostbusters and I'm like uh yeah I know that one uh I'd be like so do you kids know who Bill Murray is like do you get the sense of his like vibe?

SPEAKER_00 38:30

Imagine I'm sarcastic but I'm hot enough to pull it off okay yeah you're saying yeah I think that being a part of a zombie apocalypse just sounds so much fun when it comes to those particular uh bits and pieces that you could help out with and being a part of a system and society that is completely I guess different to the to the structured way that we live now.

SPEAKER_05 38:52

Yeah the freedom of kind of really kind of doing whatever you want like you just want a zombie apocalypse as an excuse to introduce communism it sounds like which I'm down for like yeah like but like but it's that's what that that's it that's what you're driving at. Yeah yeah I just want to sit around and paint and get to the battlefront slice some heads out get to the wheat field cut some heads and yeah prep some good prep some really good gruel that's what I mean I feel like you're gonna be getting like whipped in like the rice patties like people are like you're you're it's not gonna be nice man I'm telling you you know what? Why don't we start rice patties down in the Yarrow River? We need to get we need to get that sorted we also probably need to figure out like how far the walk is and like think about you know what we need you know what would be invaluable in the zombie apocalypse is one of those school resources where it's like the the walking thing that like clicks every time it's been a meter you know one of those? Yes like we need to know how far things are okay you need to grab one that it needs to be in your zombie apocalypse oh you know you could be you could be like you get up to the gate and you're like I am a keeper of time I'm a human clock I know what time it is at any time like they were like oh we might need that I need to start I need to start like playing a little game myself going don't tell me the time let me guess no I'm usually with I'm you I'm not bad I'm usually within like like eight minutes. Alright what's the time is it 143 it's 2.34 I am the keeper of time I think we're gonna have to end it there.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

Alright zombie apocalypse I think that I think that to above it all I think that you and I would be fantastic personality hires we'd have such a great time together.

SPEAKER_05 40:32

We could start a glee club in the yeah yeah yeah we like first day they like they bring us in they're like okay so like we're showing you around like this might be where you live like yeah cool do you have like an auditorium guys got like a mic setup?

SPEAKER_04 40:45

By the way my name's Will Schuster Okay so auditions are tomorrow uh thank no yeah we should end it here we should it really end it here but now I'm thinking we need to start prepping the work for the zombie apocalypse choir we can have eunuchs let's bring Unix back if we're if we're rebuilding society like the castretti you know what I'm so glad I asked about zombie apocalypse it's great I have so much to say I could keep going honestly you know what we might come back with a part two what if there's like vampire apocalypse no one ever talks about that let's see let's next episode we might talk about vampires uh or we'll turn back around to vampires one time yeah for sure team Jacob or team Edward uh I'll leave the suspense you'll find out later on another episode Oh I'm so glad you asked about the zombie apocalypse I just clocked that okay yes see you on another episode